Another week starts today and I can’t help but wonder how us everyday “working janes and joes” that have cancer deal with it financially. Personally I won’t lie, it has crippled my family. I can’t work, least not what I was trained to do all my life and (not yet). I go to our wonderful (cough) government for help,, more specifically disability and I’m told sure we’ll help just wait 5 months. I guess they are hoping I die in that time, they didn’t wait to take my money from my first job. My family has helped my enormously and I may never be able to repay them. Don’t get me wrong I’m not feeling guilty or anything, I just know for me its been a bit stressful not being to provide for my family. (and yes we have gone through my 401k, emergency funds and savings). I just wonder how everyone else deals with it? I thought there were people in this country that helped when you had hard times and what I’m finding is that if you worked honestly all your life the attitude is “oh well good luck with that!” Because most of the agencies private and government won’t help unless you are literally “on the street”. If you were a hard working blue or white collar worker your basically on your own. Sorry there I go ranting again =p
God Bless all cancer fighters, survivors, caretakers and their families.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Learning how NOT to work
Wow, I had a blast yesterday! I own 2 acres of land and since I was diagnosed with lung cancer I haven't really been well enough to maintain it. Well yesterday I just couldn't take it anymore. I put gas in my riding lawn mower, got my coveralls on and cleaned out the weeds so to speak. I had to wear an asbestos mask with my O2 hose going under it. I'm sure I sucked down some dust ( I live in the high desert). I just had to clean up my property it looked awful. I had told my family if working is going to kill me then so be it. It is driving me crazy doing next to nothing. Anyway today my ankles are the size of softballs (ouch). Seems my body has decided to retain water. So now the family is all mad at me for working. Oh well, I'm happy =p. Of course my body isn't and its letting me know. I guess I'm going to have to slow down, I've been trying to retrain my lungs but I think yesterday I went a bit to far. So now I have to learn not to work heheh. Maybe I can find a job that keeps my mind busy and not my body. Time to put my feet up!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Little off subject
Last couple of days have been fun. My son-in-law, his friend and myself installed a new A/C unit for my house. Its great! Makes breathing much easier to do. I live in the mountains at about 4k' and its very dry here. So breathing becomes a challenge.
Been watching some TV and I've noticed the usual "that politician sucks more than I do commercials". I'm 53 and in my lifetime I have payed attention to politics since I was 18. I have always voted for the person that I thought would do the job right. This time though I'm probably going to vote for an independent. I'm tired of watching Democrats and Republicans ruin this country further in the name of "We are right".
They both have agendas of their own that have nothing to do with what the people want. Both parties in my opinion have lost touch with the people of America. Last election Obama said "Its time for change". Yes its time for change alright, its time America woke up and voted all incumbents out!
Ahh well I don't want to waste to much on that subject, just wanted to vent a little.
On another note, I don't understand people much anymore. Seems to me that with lung cancer being the #1 killer out of all the cancers, we'd be spending more money on a cure right? Oh no, thats right I forgot, society thinks that if you have lung cancer you asked for it because you smoked right?
Wrong! Alot of the people with lung cancer have never smoked in their life! Personally I did smoke, I smoked for 27 years. So what? First of all if smoking is that dam bad for you and society doesn't like smoking then why the hell do we make it? I'll tell you why, MONEY! Its easier to vilify me than to try to shut down a tobacco company. Why, we would put people out of work if we shut down tobacco companies! My goodness what would they do for a living? Its easier to call me stupid for smoking in the first place than to close a tobacco company! Yeah right, smokers have paid more money for cancer research then anyone else in the nation. Not only that but I have my own health insurance. Thank God, because our wonderful society would rather let me just die. I brought it on myself right? Lets not mention that while serving my country in the Navy I was exposed to asbestos. Or how about when I worked for a government shipyard and I was exposed to asbestos? It doesn't matter that when I worked for the federal government as a maintenance worker for 20 some odd years that every day I was exposed to asbestos. Nope that doesn't matter all.
I feel sorry for our country, not only have we turned into hypocrites, but now we're poking our faces in everyone else's business in the world like we know whats best for them...what a joke.
Been watching some TV and I've noticed the usual "that politician sucks more than I do commercials". I'm 53 and in my lifetime I have payed attention to politics since I was 18. I have always voted for the person that I thought would do the job right. This time though I'm probably going to vote for an independent. I'm tired of watching Democrats and Republicans ruin this country further in the name of "We are right".
They both have agendas of their own that have nothing to do with what the people want. Both parties in my opinion have lost touch with the people of America. Last election Obama said "Its time for change". Yes its time for change alright, its time America woke up and voted all incumbents out!
Ahh well I don't want to waste to much on that subject, just wanted to vent a little.
On another note, I don't understand people much anymore. Seems to me that with lung cancer being the #1 killer out of all the cancers, we'd be spending more money on a cure right? Oh no, thats right I forgot, society thinks that if you have lung cancer you asked for it because you smoked right?
Wrong! Alot of the people with lung cancer have never smoked in their life! Personally I did smoke, I smoked for 27 years. So what? First of all if smoking is that dam bad for you and society doesn't like smoking then why the hell do we make it? I'll tell you why, MONEY! Its easier to vilify me than to try to shut down a tobacco company. Why, we would put people out of work if we shut down tobacco companies! My goodness what would they do for a living? Its easier to call me stupid for smoking in the first place than to close a tobacco company! Yeah right, smokers have paid more money for cancer research then anyone else in the nation. Not only that but I have my own health insurance. Thank God, because our wonderful society would rather let me just die. I brought it on myself right? Lets not mention that while serving my country in the Navy I was exposed to asbestos. Or how about when I worked for a government shipyard and I was exposed to asbestos? It doesn't matter that when I worked for the federal government as a maintenance worker for 20 some odd years that every day I was exposed to asbestos. Nope that doesn't matter all.
I feel sorry for our country, not only have we turned into hypocrites, but now we're poking our faces in everyone else's business in the world like we know whats best for them...what a joke.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Learning chemo rules the hard way
Ok, I like spicy foods, no I love spicy foods. I have all my life. But since I started doing chemo I have a problem with spicy foods. A huge problem. And the bad thing is that since I have been eating spicy foods all my life its kind of a hard habit to break. If you have been to a "real" Mexican restaurant then you know that on the table where you sit are condiments usually consisting of salt, pepper, mild sauce, hot sauce and also a clear plastic bottle of tiny little yellow peppers (banana peppers). Typically I will eat 5 or 6 peppers before my food gets there, then another 10 or so along with my food. Also I love jalapenos, I eat them typically with everything. Now grant you there is price to pay for eating these wonderfully delicious peppers. I won't go into detail but I will say that when you "disperse" these peppers it normally feels like a 5 alarm fire coming out your ass. Now before chemo I was able to handle that. But since I started chemo the "pain" is far far beyond a 5 alarm fire. Now its more like a nuclear bomb is coming out of my ass after it explodes! The pain is so bad, I scream...I sweat...I swear...I pray...I dam near pass out, literally. Last night I had enchiladas, and my son knowing I love those hot carrots you can get, gets me a bag full. Like a dummy I eat the whole bag. Today I spent mostly on the toilet in agony and I do mean agony. So if you have started chemo and take the drugs Taxol and Carboplatin and you like spicy foods... DON'T EAT THEM! It will dam near kill you or at a minimum it will make you wish you were dead. I have had to tell my whole family to remind me not to eat spicy, its not worth the pain.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Dealing with life and cancer
Since I have been diagnosed with lung cancer, I have noticed that life is ALOT more stressful than before. You would think “well Donnie your dying from lung cancer, I would be stressed to!” But thats not the case at all. Most if not all of our stress ( my families’) comes from having to deal with people who are supposed to be making this crisis easier for me.
For example, since May I have flown out of Palm Springs airport directly to Chicago, but in June American Airlines stopped the non stop flight from Palm Springs. The new flight plan involved a layover at Dallas for 1 hour, barely enough time to change planes if the gate was in another terminal.
So now we fly out of John Wayne airport non stop to Chicago, but, we have had our problems there also.
American airlines has a “Special Needs” hotline you can call to let them know if your handicap and what your needs are. I called them 3 weeks before my flight to let them know I had an Oxygen Concentrator. The rep from AA was great, told me if my concentrator was approved for flight, asked me what my volume of O2 was, (2ml) then he told me exactly how many batteries I would need for flight (typically 150% battery life for the flight time). SO if the flight was say 3 hours I would need 5 hours battery time. We figured my flight time would be roughly 4 hours so I would need 6 hours battery life. My batteries last about 3-4 hours each so I had 4 when I got to the airport, thats about 12 hours battery life.
Well imagine my surprise when the ticket lady says I’m sorry you don’t have enough batteries…
Not only that but she also informs me that I need 12 batteries! Believe you me I was about ready to go postal on this lady, thank God my wife was there.
They delayed us for 1.5 hours, we got there with 3 hours to spare to make the flight. The whole issue was over a sentence in the airlines printed “Dr.s slip”. It asks on one line are you going to use the concentrator in pulse mode or continuous mode? (pulse mode only gives O2 when you inhale so it saves battery life). I use it in pulse mode. And that was noted accordingly, now the next says “Will you need to continuously use the concentrator while taxiing, takeoff, landing, taxiing to the gate etc. My Dr. put yes. Well the ticket lady says to me that means your using it in continuous mode, so you’ll need 12 batteries.
I’m trying to explain to this college educated person that the sentence is merely saying I will need to use my concentrator continuously, but in pulse mode not continuous mode. She disagreed and then basically told me and my wife to get out of the way she had other people to tend to.
I have to tell you it took all the patience I had not to reach across the counter and strangle this lady. My wife believe it or not had to calm me down, I was livid.
Finally after 1.5 hours a manager come up and she although at first didn’t agree with me, finally agreed that the statement is misleading and that the paper needs to be rewrote. So we finally get to get on the plane.
What kills me if everyone seems to think that I am heading out on vacation, I threatened the manager with a lawsuit, told her I am heading to CTCA to get chemo for my lung cancer, if I miss this appointment because of your airlines I will sue! I need chemo every 3 weeks, I have been doing this since May and everytime I fly its another problem with the airlines!
What really gets me is I go through all the trouble to jump through the hoops and such and still because the right hand does not know or care what the left hand has done I find myself in these predicaments.
Now I travel alone, I’m well enough that I don’t need the wife to come with me, (basically I can’t afford to fly her with me), so I’m praying that God grant me patience or you may be hearing in the news that man with lung cancer goes nutty in airport!
I’m smiling really I am, anyway this was just ONE of the things that drives me crazy when dealing with people. Now I have a true sense of how handicap people are treated in life. I want to add I am truly, deeply sorry for anyone in my life that I may have given a hard time not realizing they were handicapped.
God Bless all cancer fighters, caretakers, survivors, and their families!
For example, since May I have flown out of Palm Springs airport directly to Chicago, but in June American Airlines stopped the non stop flight from Palm Springs. The new flight plan involved a layover at Dallas for 1 hour, barely enough time to change planes if the gate was in another terminal.
So now we fly out of John Wayne airport non stop to Chicago, but, we have had our problems there also.
American airlines has a “Special Needs” hotline you can call to let them know if your handicap and what your needs are. I called them 3 weeks before my flight to let them know I had an Oxygen Concentrator. The rep from AA was great, told me if my concentrator was approved for flight, asked me what my volume of O2 was, (2ml) then he told me exactly how many batteries I would need for flight (typically 150% battery life for the flight time). SO if the flight was say 3 hours I would need 5 hours battery time. We figured my flight time would be roughly 4 hours so I would need 6 hours battery life. My batteries last about 3-4 hours each so I had 4 when I got to the airport, thats about 12 hours battery life.
Well imagine my surprise when the ticket lady says I’m sorry you don’t have enough batteries…
Not only that but she also informs me that I need 12 batteries! Believe you me I was about ready to go postal on this lady, thank God my wife was there.
They delayed us for 1.5 hours, we got there with 3 hours to spare to make the flight. The whole issue was over a sentence in the airlines printed “Dr.s slip”. It asks on one line are you going to use the concentrator in pulse mode or continuous mode? (pulse mode only gives O2 when you inhale so it saves battery life). I use it in pulse mode. And that was noted accordingly, now the next says “Will you need to continuously use the concentrator while taxiing, takeoff, landing, taxiing to the gate etc. My Dr. put yes. Well the ticket lady says to me that means your using it in continuous mode, so you’ll need 12 batteries.
I’m trying to explain to this college educated person that the sentence is merely saying I will need to use my concentrator continuously, but in pulse mode not continuous mode. She disagreed and then basically told me and my wife to get out of the way she had other people to tend to.
I have to tell you it took all the patience I had not to reach across the counter and strangle this lady. My wife believe it or not had to calm me down, I was livid.
Finally after 1.5 hours a manager come up and she although at first didn’t agree with me, finally agreed that the statement is misleading and that the paper needs to be rewrote. So we finally get to get on the plane.
What kills me if everyone seems to think that I am heading out on vacation, I threatened the manager with a lawsuit, told her I am heading to CTCA to get chemo for my lung cancer, if I miss this appointment because of your airlines I will sue! I need chemo every 3 weeks, I have been doing this since May and everytime I fly its another problem with the airlines!
What really gets me is I go through all the trouble to jump through the hoops and such and still because the right hand does not know or care what the left hand has done I find myself in these predicaments.
Now I travel alone, I’m well enough that I don’t need the wife to come with me, (basically I can’t afford to fly her with me), so I’m praying that God grant me patience or you may be hearing in the news that man with lung cancer goes nutty in airport!
I’m smiling really I am, anyway this was just ONE of the things that drives me crazy when dealing with people. Now I have a true sense of how handicap people are treated in life. I want to add I am truly, deeply sorry for anyone in my life that I may have given a hard time not realizing they were handicapped.
God Bless all cancer fighters, caretakers, survivors, and their families!
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